Michael Jackson: Iron-Fisted Tyrant of Pop

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Jul012010

Thursday, July 1, 2010 at 11:36AM

It has been proposed that a statue of Michael Jackson should be erected in Prague's Letna Park. American pop singer dies, so of course monuments to the man should go up all over Central Europe. Some deeply misguided Czechs have argued that Jackson has no connection to the country, but that is a ridiculous lie. Jackson's history (HIStory!) goes all the way back to the heady days of Stalin's rule.

Back in 1996, to kick off the HIStory tour, MJ played a concert to 125,000 people in Letna Park. A few days before he arrived, a 35-foot statue (pictured to the left) materialized overnight: fierce gaze, bandoleros, droopy curls. At night, torches burned alongside the King, and martial music played. I'm not kidding. Elderly babichkas, hobbling down Parizska Ulice pulling their wheeled baskets of potatoes could be seen to gaze up in wonder at this new monstrosity. "Who is invading us now?" Fitting for a petty tyrant, uniformed guards with German shepherds protected the statue from potential vandals.

To step back in history a bit more, the concrete platform where MJ stood was once the site of a much-reviled Stalin monument (left). Yes! MJ's genius team decided to associate the King with Joseph Vissarionovich Stalin, another popular leader. Sadly, by the time the monument was completed in 1955, Stalin was already past the height of his pop fame, and the monument was detonated soon thereafter with dynamite. (The sculpture had already committed suicide by that time.

I can see the reasoning behind conflating the two figures. Stalin murdered millions of people, Jackson sold millions of albums. At Stalin's funeral, hundreds were trampled to death as his admirers tried to glimpse the body. At MJ's funeral, hundreds of celebrities were trampled to death trying to grab a little of the limelight.

Czech Republic, please remember, Michael Jackson transcends all race and geopolitical concerns. Like Uncle Joe Stalin, he wants the best for all of us. Also, don't piss him off, because we all know he's really alive somewhere. And he could have tanks.

Michael Mullen |

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Just came back from Prague where I reflected on the vagaries of history at this site; I didn't even know what a metronome was before I arrived. However, if I may add something to your rather biased post: Stalin at least was never accused of having his evil way with children. Not in the Soviet courts, anyway, which was the only official body entrusted to judge such matters. Sure he was 22 years older than his second wife who was a child when they first eloped, but that was a different time when killing kulaks and burning down grandmothers had a much more glamorous sheen than it does today.

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