Parasailing Donkey: "The donkey screamed and children cried."

The BBC reports a disturbing publicity stunt in Russia in which a donkey went parasailing. Sure, stoned people come up with this sort of idea every day, but it's ever so rare that it makes it from the inspiration stage to execution. Just imagine that moment when the donkey was finally strapped into his sailing harness, but still with all hooves on the ground, and nobody--nobody--said, "Hey, wow, this is, like, so incredibly wrong. I object on the grounds that this is totally donkey cruelty. The donkey is totally afraid."

The only real explanation for this is that it happened in Russia, where practically from birth children hear horrendous fairy tales about kids being eaten by wolves and having their feet chopped off. I'm sure that somewhere there on the ground, as a child weeped, his father leaned down, smelling of cigarettes and vodka, and said, "Life is like parasailing donkey. From a distance, looks funny. Up close, smells like shit and fear."